I was stunned to see I haven't posted for a month. After much doubt, worry and debate, I let my boss know I was looking for another job. I have been in this field for 29 years and I felt for ages it was time for a change, the clients are getting younger, I'm getting older and my heart isn't in it any more.
When I started it was at a large institution outside of the city, I was employed to relieve the students who has to go to the North Island for their 6 months training, I was then offered a position as a student and did my 3 year training. I loved it, although anyone who has worked in a large institution will know it has drawbacks.
In case your wondering I worked in a Hospital then it changed it's name to Centre, a place for people who had a intellectual disability, I was there 13 years and when the place was deinstitutionlized and I was employed in a charitable trust set by my boss and his wife. I have been there for 15 years, but I think it's time to find a job I can be happy in, I know it's me that needs to go, my mum's death earlier this year, and my dad's now terminal cancer makes me feel time for a change. The clients "my old darlings", I will miss, but the newer younger clients need young male staff, more active and more authorative than a older female. Please note in my almost 30 years I can tell you true one fact, a male always has more sway and authority than a female. It's just the way it is.
I told my boss I was looking for a job because I want to leave without all the subterfuge, that often happens when someone leaves a job, plus the fact I need a good reference.
Alas looking for a job has proved fruitless at the moment, if I had a trade I'd be fine, why didn't I become a plumber, paper hanger or painter. But I decided to take a step to getting a qualification in Library and Information Studies. Of course money is going to be an issue, so we are sitting down this afternoon to sort out a very tight budget.
If your reading this I apologize for the personal post, but it has been the only thing on my mind for weeks.
On a good note, Tom had his last exam yesterday, oh the relief, met a lady at a church fair yesterday, who's children went to school with mine, who said I hear Tom's studying to be a priest." God forbid", I said, "he's just finished Uni and thinking of the Army". I haven't told him yet, he will be very surprised that such a rumour is about.
Aj has one more week of a three week section at a local school, and then he's finished for the year, he is very apprehensive about his results, there lies a tale, but ITM have said they need him full-time for the holidays, that's four months of holidays. He has been taking some classes and loving it, he is doing all the classes next week, if that doesn't scare him off nothing will.
So I have been thrifting at fairs and markets, Aj will help download the photos later, camera still a pain. I allow myself $20.00 and really enjoy having a good fossick around, bought some lovely 70,s sheets yesterday, "like new they are" one old biddy (could be talking about myself) said and they debated the price, "yes they are nice, I'm sure they have never been on a bed" said the other. "They'll be more expensive,how about $2.00 for the two". Now that makes me happy, if not a little guilty.
Sorry for such a rambling post, but I feel much better having told someone or indeed no-one, whichever it maybe. I am being as positive as I can be, I will find a job, my brain will cope with study, Dad is having all the best care in the world, my sister will somehow cope with it all,( she lives in the same city as Dad) while we are all in the South Island and we all will go on as every family does, I am grateful for Basil he is my rock, always supportive and unusually for him positive (he is more a pessimist, he blames his job, he works for the Corrections Dept.) I blame his Scottish roots. Don't tell him I said that. Love Bee.